TANYA’S POV

  "कुछ दर्द पुराने होजाते है पर

             उनके गाव कभी नहीं भरते।"

Memories is a tiny word for what i am feeling at this moment. The past haunts me and my body shivers. I look over at the walls of the mansion, they scream pain. Every second here reminds me of how happy we once used to be.

Used to be. Not that i am happy now. After years of that misery, i find it difficult to barely exhale and inhale most of the nights. The nights make me whimper in pain and i am helpless here. I beg myself to forget what happened but it refuses every time. And it doesn't even get any better. I press my lips into a thin line and i hear a click sound of the door.

My eyes follow the direction to the room upstairs, Chachi comes out with a pile of outfits in her hands. I smile at her and she returns me the same.

"Welcome back Tanya." She says and places those heavy outfits on the couch beside me.

"How have you been?" I ask trying to speak as normally as i could.

"Doing wedding preparations made me a little unwell but it's fun i guess." She confesses.

"Yeah. I can't believe Trisha is getting married. It feels like yesterday when i left this place and now i am here already to let go of my only sister." I stick my gaze to one of the tiles on the floor.

Chachi's hand pats my shoulder and she smiles at me, pulling me into a hug. The feeling made my heart wrench in emotions. I have never felt this comfort from years. How does it feel to be held.

Even after having a family, i suffer alone. I don't share or I don't even contact with them. I feel like sacrificing them for Trisha. She deserves them and not me. I want her to know that i am the only orphan and she still has a family.

But this hurts. Having a family but not actually having them. I sort of abandoned them. So that they can provide all their attention to Trisha.

Chachi's hand rubs back and forth at my back and a little tear escapes my eyes, but as i pull away from the hug. I can see Trisha standing in the stairs from the corner of my eyes, i quickly wipe that moisture away and smile at her. She doesn't respond back instead she rolls her eyes.

"You know you are late here." A hoarse manly voice gets my attention, when i turn back. I see Aarav.

He is my cousin and only child of my Chachu and Chachi. Judging by his figure no one can ever guess that he just graduated, but he is just 22. His shoulders are broad and he is insanely handsome. I smirk at him and he practically lifts me up while hugging me.

Just how i used to love it. He is still the same Aarav, i left years ago. My giggles echoes in the hall as he places me down. I pinch his nose and he gets a little annoyed.

"Come on Tans i am not a kid anymore." He complains

"Tans? Now what kind of name is this?" I say wrinkling my eyes

"Slang bro. It's new here." He replies and i make a face at his lame thing.

"How are you? Did you find some hot girls in London?" He asks leaning close to my ear so that Chachi cannot hear us.

I punch him in the chest and shake my head in disbelief. He didn't change a bit. Still head over heels for foreign girls.

"No Aarav boy. Girls there expect too much." I say pressing my lips together to make a pity face.

He scrunches his nose and lean his head towards Chachi. He hugs her in the most affectionate way and the later ruffles with his hair. The scene made me think of my own mother.

How she used to tie my hair in a ponytail and how she used to feed me with her own hands. Something about a mother's love is divine. It feels surreal and the most worthy thing in the world. My heart pounds to an extreme pace when i find Trisha standing beside me.

"We don't have a mother." She says making me aware of how cruel our life is.

"We don't get to receive this love. You know why?" Her voice send chills down my spine and i levitate in her direction

"Because of you Tanya." The words feel like a sharp blade to my throat. I feel like bleeding and throwing up. And then disappearing to never coming back. I clench my fists making my palms sore with my nails.

Maybe this will make it better. Maybe physical pain can make me forget about the mental pain i am enduring.

"Okay now that we are here, i want all of you to agree to the fact that this will be one of the big fat weddings." Aarav's voice break my mental war and i focus back at Trisha.

She stays there, not moving or even showing the slightest of any emotion. The big fat wedding but I don't even know about the man she is marrying to yet.

I glance back at Aarav and he raise his brows

"Tans jiju is from a very wealthy family and he is pretty cool."

"Umm hmm." I nod at him while keeping my gaze at Trisha. She leans closer and her words made me move a bit away

"He doesn't know that we don't like each other. Behave in front of him. And get out of here as soon as possible."

I want to sob and never stop after hearing this. She needs me out of here. And here i flew all the way to meet her. Forcing a smile i gesture a smile at Aarav.

"Atleast show me a picture of him." I say slowly not knowing how she will react to this. Maybe she will never allow Aarav to let me see him.

But instead she says nothing and nods at Aarav. Despite this close bond i and Aarav share, he knows that Trisha can get mad about this. So he kind of takes a permission. When he gets that he comes straight to me with his phone.

I grab the phone and a man's picture flashes on the screen. He is big and broad to be precise he is looking good. His eyes are sort of greyish.

Grey eyes. Same as his.

I shrug my inner thoughts and focus back on the screen. He is handsome and he looks like a rich classy man. My lips turn into a pout as i notice his ring. I have seen this somewhere.

"Isn't he cool Tans?" Aarav asks and i look back at him.

"Yeah he is cool and he is Trisha's choice so of course he is cool." My lips turn into a curve and Trisha smiles too.

She smiles at my comment. It makes my heart flutter, i want to jump scream and hug her. I know she loves me. Right she loves me. I can make everything okay.

Everything will be okay soon. I take a deep hopeful sigh and then the world seems a little better.

"Tans let's go shopping in the evening. Till then have some rest."

"Shopping?" I ask confused.

"Tans you obviously didn't carry lehengas and all in your baggage. And this is India and it's a wedding you can't wear a business suit here. You have to look Indian and wear sort of ethnic." He complains

"Ethnic? No way. I can't with those glittery clothing pieces." My disgust is clear from the tone

"Ethnic is important. Else don't come." Trisha interrupts and i feel giddy. Not because she asked me not to come. But she cares about what i will wear and what not.

"No i am fine with ethnic. If Trishu wants me to wear ethnic then that's it." I declare and then everyone moves to their respective rooms.

My room is clean and tidy. It looks like someone actually lived here all this time when i was gone. The curtains are fresh and the scent is still the same. The nostalgia wraps around me as i take a tour further in the room. The closet is just white now, what i left was grey.

My hands pull the drawers and they are all clean. But when i move forward to the table there's a key lying on it. It doesn't take me a minute to realise that it's my piggy bank's key. The one i owned years ago. My father bought it for me. And i used to sleep with that daily. Always an insecure child.

I guess the piggy bank is no more here. I look down at the floor and my hands immediately rush to underneath the bed. I remember once i spilled the ink here. The marks are still there. Very light but i can see them.

The good old memories.

I place both my hands on my face and breathe for a few seconds before coming back to this world. My phone bings with a notification and i swipe my screen to read it. It's about our merger. I accept the document and simply type a "yes".

Before coming back here, i took care of everything. How the deals will go and the future preferences. But one thing for sure in my absence Adhvik will do something shady.

In the evening-

I changed into a blue shirt with white shorts and while i go through some documents, i hear a knock at my door.

"Come in."

"Hey Tans are you ready?" Aarav asks leaning at the doorframe.

I hurriedly finish my analysis and then nod at him. He nods back and then jumps on my bed. I chuckle at his action and he scrunches his brows.

"What now?" He enquires

"You are such a kid." I laugh looking at his t shirt. It's written "A young adult" on it.

"No Tans. I am just humble with you." He pokes his finger at me.

"Oh yeah. You are humble with me. I get it." I say sarcastically and then another chuckle joins us. I look at the door and it's Chachu this time.

"Tanya you know Aarav changes girlfriend every week. He is so much of a kid."

My eyes widen at the mention of his nature. I never expected that shy Aarav to be a player in college. But then again, i never contacted him after moving to London.

"It's called popularity dad. You know Tans everyone in my university wants me as their boyfriend. So i do it for them. I don't have any issues with a single girlfriend but also i cannot break millions of hearts."

"Millions? You sure?" I chuckle again.

"I mean yeah a bunch you can say." His voice dripping with embarrassment

"Forget all this. Dad why you here? You should go and help mom otherwise you will be starved to death." Aarav mentions this and the next i see is Chachu running to his room.

"Let's go" i say and Aarav makes his way out of the room. I am curious if Trisha is going to join us or not. But I don't ask until i see Aarav sitting alone in the car.

Of course she wouldn't come shopping with me. It's not like we are close or anything. I bite my lips and reach the car. Aarav honks again and i grunt at his impatience.

"Such a kid." I grit my teeth while getting seated in the car.

"Now if you being the only adult here allow me to move, can we go?" He asks faking his accent. So dramatic.

"Yeah let's go Shakespeare."

After a drive of half an hour, we pull in front of a huge showroom. The name says "Bandhan." A good name for some ethnic shop.

"This is where Trisha and Mom got their dresses designed from. But since you are so late to join so you have to choose from the residing collection Tans. But don't worry, they are amazing and i am here to help you." He speaks continuously without taking a breath.

"Thanks Aarav. I am so emotional that you the sensation is here with me to choose my outfits." My overacting makes him laugh hard and we move out from the car.

The store is really huge and the interior is well. The golden plates perfectly compliments the brown colour. Or maybe i find it cool because brown is special to me. It soothes me.

A tall girl comes to our side and smiles at Aarav and that bastard winks at her. So creepy.

"Hey Anishka. Show us the exotic collection." He explains to her and she directs us to the block where only premium collection is.

The collection is very much pretty. Like I don't feel suffocated with the overdoing of glitters or no heavy patches. They look subtle and elegant. The colours have huge variety. Most of them are eye catching but I don't want to be the centre of attraction here. So of course i will go for something light or pastel.

My eyes fall on a silver dress and the night of awards hit me. When i wore the silver dress and he took care of me. He fucking took care of me. The memory hits me and i feel my body getting hot. My cheeks flush with shame or something else I don't wanna even think about.

The way he kissed my finger the next morning, everything comes to my mind. And i feel like seeing him. I feel the need to make eye contact for him. The thought of him makes my body temperature so high. He is surely doing something to me. But what I don't know. Maybe yet.

"Mam do you have anything in your mind?" The attendant asks.

"Adhvik" When i realise it's too late. Aarav is already looking at me with suspicion and i just don't look in his direction. Because I don't know what to answer if he asked who is Adhvik.

He is just my enemy who happens to take care of me when i fell sick. Just so normal. No Tanya you must be out of your fucking mind to think of him here.

"Something simple." I finally reply to the attendant who is now gawking at me.

"Sure." She leaves and then comes with a handful of dresses. Each one so gorgeous. I feel like getting married myself but just for the dresses.

The attendant does her job and she is great at that because in just an hour she convinced me to take 5 dresses. I feel like an excited teenager who just saw some new clothes and now she just hit the lottery by buying everything she wants.

Guys please vote and comment. I am trying my best to update as soon as i can. Show some interest and motivate me.

Love

Arii